Well, I haven't FREAKED OUT over something for a while now... so I figured it is about time.... Caution: only read this if you already love me.

Aug, 30th, 2008 ~

My Dear "So-Called Friends" and future roommates (who decided to stay on the west coast instead of coming to this island with me),

It is that time of the month again. Stephanie left. crap. what am I gonna do here alone? I do have Leslie (thank goodness). She is wonderful, I am so glad she came here this summer. She is leaving soon and I still am staying here AND have to move into the garage. I am not going to be happy about that, because WHAT IF the crazy wild turkeys and those huge deer come and eat me in the middle of the night. however; I do LOVE it here, especially the ocean and I kind of like my new job, which consist of me, laying on the docks (literally), and watching the boat come in and out of the harbor. Yup, good times. I also get to spend some time in Boston before I leave with good old uncle rob. I can't wait. What I really can't wait for is to be able to move into my new (perfect) apartment, complete with perfect (kinda) roommates.

So..... I come back on october 7th. So don't forget. I will be cranky since I have a layover in TEXAS (what!?!?!?) and so much crap to do once I get home. See while I am here I get to pretend it is still summer.... yeah so, why am I even coming back to Provo???? There is no real reason for me to come back. I am going to be the "freaky weird girl who is living in Provo but not going to school (because I am out of money (but paid off my car(yea!) and I just hate school right now) person". who wants to hang out with that? I mean really? And no way am I going to Provo to date. that is laughable. who wants to date the "freaky weird girl who lives in Provo and not even going to school"? I am just going to lie. it has worked in the past.... I think I will tell people I am a senior (this is true) getting my undergrad in political science and then going on to law school. That will make me sound impressive... everyone lies about something, this should be mine. Or I could tell people I am majoring in Biology going on to medical school. Or I could tell people I can cook, sew, completed personal progress and am taking parenting classes to prepare to me to be a full time mom. NONE of those sound realistic. So maybe I could say I am going to be an elementary teacher, or that I am majoring in dance parties. People would believe that right? Everyone I love will soon be graduating, (or worse) getting married this year anyways. By the time I get back all the good callings will be taken in the ward and I will end up as greeter, (or worse) activities committee. anyways, so WHY am I coming back to Provo??? Well, because I miss you and it is the only place I have to call home. Kinda stinks since the only place I have to home sounds like an abbreviation to gross cheese. So just let me eat my 3 pound bag of M+M's and think of seeing your faces again.

Love always and forever,

Megan Duffy, MD
Future Managing Director of "Doctors without Borders

Me: Flying by the seat of my pants...

This is how my life is right now...

(thanks danielle. this is the pride and joy of my life.)

Little Tommy is trying so hard to catch a crab...

I bet my love life is more fun than yours.

My Love Life on the Island:
Haha. I do not have a love life here on the island (thank goodness, I am happy to have left that drama behind for a few months!) BUT I do have some funny stories about some of the guys around. So, I work with almost all males (not at the day camp, but at my job in town). Most of them are from different countries (most of the people on this island are not American, the tourist included). I have thoroughly enjoy talking to the plethora of Brittish, Australian, Irish and Italian guys this summer (why are Europeans so attractive?) but anyways,



1.) There is this black guy who works right around the corner. He buys a red bull every afternoon. He always calls me honey. He looks like snoop dog and scares me a little. He is pleasant enough to talk to but drops the 'F' bomb just about everyone other word. He sounds like a rap song. I think him and everyone else at his restaurant is on drugs. When he sees me in town, even if I am 20 feet away.. he calls to me... "Honey, Red Bull".


3.) There is Kadeem, Jamaican, who is convinced that I am not a virgin. That is too long of a story to post here. Calls me cutie. He is married, with a new baby girl. He tries to hug and touch me a lot. It scares me too.


4.) There is the very attractive and wonderfully kind Bulgarian kid who works next door too... he is great, he always gives me the "head nod". I consider this a good sign.


5.) Two Words: Summer Cops. All the summer cops are from the mainland with New England mannerisms, and (whoo) those nice looking uniforms. They are all in their early twenties. Another Two Words: Officer Gelb. I know, I know "Gelb"?!?! But seriously, he has to be the most adorable man I have ever laid eyes on. He is clearly from Boston and has the adorable accent to prove it. He comes in almost every night to the sandwich shop and orders. I shamelessly bat my eyes and make small talk. I love all the officers who come in, but especially him, because he has such a cute face. The other day, he came in like 4 times while I was working... and we had awkward experiences and I tried to flirt and my pathetic attempts sill make me laugh. I promise you there is NO WAY he thinks the "spacey girl behind at the sandwich shop behind the counter (me)" is cute (you should see what I wear everyday). But still that does not stop me from thinking another Two Words: Megan Gelb.

6.) Dave. The fireman. The Only Guy I Have Ever Met... that ACTUALLY makes me go weak in the knees with his smile. I did not think it was possible, but it is. Sigh.... Dave. The most beautiful name on the planet.

Here are a few things I have learned this summer...

1.) That my nails look best with bright (*sparkly*) purple nail polish!2.) That I can do THIS on ice skates for a long time (the picture is blurry... but, yes that it me... I was going so fast!). 3.) That I will NEVER eat shark, but Stephanie will...

4.) How to be a Pirate.
5.) That I have one sweet tan line from my flip-flops on my feet!

That I never want to leave.

Since everyone's posting about dreams

I've got a little something to add myself. So, recently I've been a little jumpy, I'm not sure why. I've always been the calm type, and can easily supress a scream because I don't often feel like screaming anyway. Well, I'll just say I've screamed quite a lot lately...very truly fearing for my life at times. A few nights ago Meg and I had just fallen asleep and Les was in the bathroom. I dreamed that a huge spider--the size of both my hands spanned out next to each other--was lowering itself from the ceiling, headed for my bed. I saw it in real-life detail, outlined by the pale light in our bedroom, and I suddenly screamed with such helplessness Leslie must have thought I was being attacked through the window. I then proceded (still in my sleep, and yet in real life) to jump from my bed and dart to the lightswitch, bathing the room in light and seeing reality for the first time as I had woken myself up by now. Leslie was stood halfway across the room, having come running to my rescue at the sound of my pain, and Megan sat disoriented and concerned in her bed. We all looked at each other as I realized there was no 10-inch spider around and just started laughing. Did I really just scream in my sleep? Isn't that what emotionally unstable people do? Leslie got me to look up the meaning of my dream on google, and this is what I found. Look under spiders. I'm a lucky, lucky girl.

for those of you who don't know...

I'M RUNNING A MARATHON!!! And you're all invited to come cheer me on. It will be in Logan on the 20th of September, and of COURSE there will be a party when I finish, so if I were you I wouldn't miss it. It's called the Top of Utah, the same one Kelli did a couple years ago. Ellen, one of my few dear Mormon friends here on Nantucket, talked me into it. I'm not really sure how things are gonna go, seeing as it's Auguest 10 and my longest run has still only been about 8 miles. Hey, you try finding time to exercise when you're working 10 hours a day in the blistering heat! But don't worry...Ellen says after a certain point your body's all numb anyways and you just keep going. Sounds like fun to me!

I love kind old men...

and I don't care how creepy that is! I had my first sunny day off yesterday since...since...June? Third maybe? It's be a LONG time. And I work LONGGGG days. Where to start? There is so much of the island I have yet to see in the sunshine! I strapped on my backpack and headed off on my bike (only after I finished the 4 hrs at my morning job), following whatever random bikepaths I came across until I reached an unmarked dirt trail. What do you do in that situation but ditch your bike and see where it goes? So I did, and I found myself in a desereted grassy clearing, perfect for an afternoon nap. After a restful 20 minutes in the sunshine I headed off again, this time eventually coming upon Bartlett's Farm, where my friendly old man comes into play. I was riding on the winding dirt roads between feilds of delicious-looking produce when my craving for fresh vegies got the better of me, and pulled off next to a field of tomatoes. Jamaican men were harvesting food just inside the gates, so I called to one of them. "Hey, where can I buy one of those?" The guy looked up from under his straw hat and smiled at me. "You want a tomato?" he asked, picking a very large and juicy one off the vine, "Here you go." "THANKS!" I said, cupping the tomato with both hands. I'm not sure why I did that...but it seemed like such a treasure. Stuff doesn't come cheap on this island, and it DEFINATELY does not come free! Then I headed down the road again, ending up on the painfully sandy (have you EVER tried dragging a bike through the sand) and tourist-strewn waters of Cisco Beach. I didn't stay there long. I decided to see how long it would take me to find my way back just following my intuition. Fifteen minutes, tops! I'm really good with directions I guess. For a visual of my travels, see the map below. I started from town, and our home is where the heart is. No pun intended.

Absolutely Charming.

I have to admit I am a little jealous of all the fabulous, rich woman on the island... not because of their money, or their plastic surgery, or their personal trainer bodies, or their 3 marriages, or their yachts... but because of their SUN HATS. I want one. I think I would look great in one. More importantly, I would feel great in one. I think all of you will recognize me when I come back to Provo because I will be the one wearing my sun hat, even in the pouring rain.

Now the question is: What kind of sun hat should I buy? I might as well try to pick a favorite star in the heavens.

• There is the beautiful old fashioned look. Always in style:

• The "way too big for me celebrity look". This one might not be the best for walking on campus. Draws too much attention:
  

• The cute, fun hats, perfect for any kind of walking around. Classic:
  
• This one is Amazing. It's Reversable:
  

• The "I live on the beach" hat. I truly, madly love this one:

• These one come with the option of animal print. Intriguing. I want a Zebra print though:
  
  

• This one screams "Meg Duffy". Yes, I think this is the one - (plus I could use it to attract the male species, kind of how peacocks use their feathers to impress each other):
  

What do you think?

Tribute to Dance and Fish Faces...

This is an amazing video Brookie sent me. I wanted to share it with others. You will laugh. David's singing voice makes us cry. You will think it is strange, but be addicted to watching them dance, if you call this dancing, I think it is more like making love, through dance. It's clean. It's beautiful. hahaha.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6wg2zIgxVA

And this is for Debbie and Missy and Dani and Hayley and Nikki... because let's be honest, my picture wins. (To see the other candidates... go here.)

That's all about it.

When you wish upon a star...

I wish I was black. Can you guess why? If I was black, I could dance better, sing better, have bigger lips, have bigger hips, be able to be someone's shortay... AND I would not sunburn as easily.

Well, I have the hips, but not the skin...
I got a WICKED BAD sunburn... I mean it may be the worst sun burn of my life.
The skin = the biggest human organ.
We should take care of it.
Leave it up to me to wash myself in vanity when I should be applying sunscreen. Vanity is a mean, evil thing and I need to stay far away.

Every move hurts my body... I slept without my clothes (there was a sheet - sorry roommates), I can not bear to wear them in this sticky, hot, beachside island - (where you sweat just by breathing). We went ice skating today with the kids. I wanted to just lay on the ice naked (but I did not for the sake of the kids) - it did cool me off though. I tried to photograph the burn - but this is a G rated blog so I can not really post the areas of the burn - (up and down the whole left side of my body from my upper legs to my neck). I am an idiot.I wish church was a lot longer. It is my favorite part of the week - blessing the sacrament on the coffee table. I feel so close to everyone on Sundays. It means so much to me to be around people with the same standards at least on one day. My love for everyone overflows at church. Overflows. Overflowing. These are pictures of some of us girls in the kitchen at our "church". (We had two girls visit and stay with us this weekend from the Boston singles ward) .Oh I wish you could meet them.

I wish that I was in the Circus...
This day was a great day. I went to a world famous "Circus Flora" - The Circus by the Sea... it is only here for one weekend out of the whole summer. The huge, bright red tent can be seen for miles. It was at my favorite beach on the WHOLE island. I went with my Sweet Betsy friend and we shared many laughs during the night. I can not even explain how AMAZING it was... these people can do amazing things... the Cortez family (from Argentina) who did the flying trapeze had me on the edge of my seat... I could barely breathe, not wanting them to fall. The performers were from all over the world - Italy, Sweden, South America, Czech Republic, USA... I got to be a child again. How I loved it so. This is the Wallenda family... we saw them walk across the tight rope and do the scariest tricks. They hold the World Guinnes Record for the seven person pyramid tight rope walk! Cool Huh?

I wish you could be here... Truly I do.

I wish that you would comment.

Dreams should not always come true...

Missy's post reminded me of a recent dream that I had. What does it mean... I have no idea, but I would love a dream interpreter for this one!?!?

"I was having a baby. Twins actually. I was a very pretty, happy pregnant woman. I was overjoyed about having children. I did have a husband, but he was never around and I never saw his face. When it was time to have the baby, all my friends came to support me, and during labour I fell asleep and woke up to the most beautiful baby girl I have ever seen. I did not even feel any pain. Then to my complete devastation, I realized that the other baby did not make it through. I was torn between the elation of the birth of one of my children and the death of another. All of us decided to go shopping at Target for the baby. In the store I fell the floor and felt very sick. Everyone had to take me to the hospital - I was internally bleeding. I knew I was going to die - my only thought was who was going to raise the baby? Then, I woke up."

Strange huh?

I had another dream last night...
One of my dear friends died. I could not stop crying, even after everyone else moved on. We all went to his funeral. I woke up very sad, meaning to tell all my friends I loved them so much. I just remember all the faces of my friends with tears in their eyes. If you read this blog you were in the dream and so many others... so many people that I know. I must be thinking about everyone a lot lately. It seemed like everyone I knew and loved was there... but they could not see me. I only spoke to a select few. The images of everyone, crying... and me - unable to be comforted - this friend meant to world to me. My family was not there, they are never in my dreams.

Church was great today... I am so glad I went even though my allergies made me feel like my face was three times its size...

Well everyone... DREAMS COME TRUE!!!

At the end of August... I will be going to

NEW YORK CITY!

I will be...
~ Staying in TIMES SQUARE,
~ Going to Broadway shows ("WICKED?!?!"),
~ Eating in fancy restaurants,
~ Seeing the Museums,
~ Relaxing in Central Park, and
~ LOVING life...
~~ All for $200 Dollars (just my plane tickets)!!!!!! ~~

The wonderful family I worked for last summer is taking me.... I am SO EXCITED, the word "giddy" does not even describe it - even my allergies can't bring me down! whooooo hooooo!

Any ideas on what we should do???

Riding in the Clouds...

I posted a bunch of pics/videos for Missy (and all the faithful that read this blog)... (and Brooke - look at this picture, my skills are approving, huh?) This was my favorite sunset, Stephanie and I chased it down...

Nantucket has been nicknamed - "the Gray Lady"... because of all the fog that comes to island, mostly at night. It is the most magical thing you have ever seen... like being in a real live fairy tale. I will be riding home from my jobs, and go past the graveyards and the old wind mill and I can only see about 40 feet in front of me. As I ride I can feel the water on my face and arms and legs and I breathe deep and drink in all the moisture in the air - it's wonderful. I am just riding in the clouds...

_________________

Happy 4th of July... I hope you had fun! I took the kids to Main Street in the morning and we got balloons and necklaces and saw about a million dogs dressed up in red/white/blue... people too. I saw some celebrities, Kathy Lee Gifford, Jerry Stiller (both have houses on the island). Main Street was packed... it's full of eating contests and face paint and funny hats. At High Noon - they have the annual "4th OF JULY TOWN WATER FIGHT". The firetrucks come into town and the firemen get the hoses and spray everyone... the kids come in bathing suits armed with water guns, and there is a huge vat of water at the top of the street where you can fill up your gun. Then everyone goes nuts, kids everywhere, buckets of water being thrown... for some reason always at me... and grown men in wet suits come and pick water fights with the kids... it was the BEST thing I have ever seen... I felt 5 years old again, everyone was having the time of their life - I laughed so hard... real, good, true, honest laughter... I am sure heaven will have HUGE water fights... if they don't - I don't want to go. My favorite part were they old people on the side of the street who came with their umbrellas, just to watch and laugh along with us.

I did not get to see the fireworks because I was working, although Scott and the girls and I all tried to watch them from the street - so many people went to the beaches to see them. They say that the firework display is lame here on the island for the 4th of July... but the one we saw last week was better. Jim took a bunch of us on the boat and we went into he ocean and watched them on the water... That night made me so happy...

Job Pictures:

The Deli - "Walters" This is where I work with two adorable Bulgarian girls and two great guys from Nepal. The deli is not sideways in real life.

CAMP ACKVENTURE.... me + fourteen 6 year olds = Summer Camp Fun!!!

I love hanging out with kids all day, singing on the bus and loving my life! We do all kinds of fun things... paper airplanes, BEACHES, sand castles, crab hunting, turtle attacking, games, giggles.

Maggie and Tommy (cuttest twins ever!!!)...

Beach fun...

Movies...

FRIENDS!!!! Church! The BEST parts of my life... this is our "crew", and they are great. :) FHE fun- painting shells and BBQ!

So... how is your summer going?

Wanna hear a good adventure? It all starts out on an innocent little evening run...

I left around 8:15, just as the fog came rolling in. No--more like it just seeped up between the trees and was suddenly there. I had a huge grin on my face as I jogged into the wonderland in created. I headed down roads I'd run on before, and then off onto some sandy paths along the beach. It was all familiar, but diffferent in the misted dusk. I could only see my immediate surroundings, and everything white seemed to glow--especially the dasises. Can anyone imagine cooler conditions to run in? As I ran, condensation gathered on my face and my breath came out in puffs like it was 20 degrees outside. It was weird, and fun. I didn't care when things were suddenly unfamiliar--I just kept pushing through the dunes until I broke onto a dirt road. The light was geting dimmer faster, but there was so much still for me to explore! Besides, the road was bending back in the right direction...and there were houses, every half mile or so. I wasn't worried. My feet hit the dirt and format yelled in my ear: "life is just a gamble; gamble if you want to win!" I want to win! I didn't realize how dangerous the price was until the first car came by. It went slower and slower until it finally passed and sped off. I looked strait ahead as it went alongside me, feigning confidence that I knew where I was going when it really hit me--I had no idea where I was going. And the road just kept weeving through the lowland tundra with no promise of change...but turning back seemed almost as formodible as going forward with only twisting, forking sand paths behind me and the tangible darkness settling dankly all around. So...I kept going. Faster. The road weaved and dipped through the unknown country, and finally turned into a more foresty-looking area. That didn't mean safety, but any change was a welcome sight--reminding me I hadn't actually run off the face of the earth. My ipod rested silently in my sweaty palm--I'd turned it off so I could be more wary. That may have been a bad idea, though, because now every tiny sound sent my eyes darting side to side, up ahead, and then behind. It was creeeeepy! The trees bent over my dark dirt road in a gloomy cavern-style arch, like on Beauty and the Beast when her dad gets lost with Philip. I had no choice! I just pressed into the darkenss, hoping beyond hope that civilization would show its signs once more. A few other cars passed me...but no way was I going to stop any of them! In fact, every time I saw one coming I wanted to hide in the trees just in case. For fear of lime disease-infested ticks, though, I kept on the road with cautious eyes. Luckily, no one stopped. Then I saw the light ahead. I know what you're picturing: a bright, warm, welcoming light at the end of a dark tunnel of trees, offering peace and hope and happiness to the weary traveler, right? Wrong. It was red, and it reflected off the fog at the opening of the forested wasteland, looking very creepy. I also heard a low rumbling sound. Anyone have a guess as to where I was? The airport. But not the bustling, securitied, helpful side of the airport; I could see that fields and lightyears away. I was on the other side of the runways, mingled in with the shuttle bus parking lot, huge crate storage areas, trucks and construction vehicles and big, ominious buildings all around. Bad surroundings for being alone at night. Bad surroundings for being alone in the day. And how the heck was I supposed to pick my way out of this one? It was dark now. I was stuck. But guess who brought her cell phone with her! Haha--all that time I had you all so anxious for me! I found Leslie's number (Meg was at work) and waited for the answer, pacing under a protective circle of glorious street lamp. The dear girl answered right away, and when I told her my situation, guess what she proceded to do? She tried to locate me on her Nantucket bike map! It wasn't long before we both realized the futility of that attempt. Then she notified Jim and the two of them headed off in the truck to find me. All the while, Leslie stayed on the phone with me, telling me jokes to brighten the circumstances. She's so great! Jim assured Leslie he knew right where I was from my description...but 20 minutes later it was evident that wasn't the case. So...Jim called Sue, who called the airport, who gave her directions to what sounded like my locations, who then called Jim and forwarded the information, who carried them out perfectly and became a shining savior for me that night. He arrived just in time to pick me up and leave before the Nantucket police showed up to the scene, looking to save me too! Lucky I got out of there first--my story is embarrasing enough without gluing it to my face for all the peace officers of our small town to recognize. So there you go. Adventurous? I'd say so. And don't worry. I learned my lesson.

Soakin' Up The Sun...

I am SO HAPPY.......And YOU should be too... because there are BLESSINGS all around us to enjoy! These are a few from the past weeks...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEPPY! This was a fun night - about 12 went out to dinner. "The Brotherhood of Thieves" - isn't that a cool sounded restaurant??? It was an evening full of laughter. I love you Stephie - all 21 years of you! This us eating food. We do this all the time. We like to eat it on the floor since we have no table. We spill a lot. We laugh a lot about that.

Another Happy Birthday (Leslie!) where we ate burritos and enjoy the wonderfulness of our other adorable roommate Leslie!!! We play scrabble games on our floor too... Wesley and Stephanie enjoy this one the most.

This is me and Lisa on our Private Jet... that's right... we are flying!This is 8 year old James (one of the kids I nanny for). Last Saturday - we had a dance party... complete with "Mambo #5", "Alvin and the Chipmunks", "Soulja Boy" "and "Sheryl Crow"... (watch the video - sorry about my singing). It was the best dance party/air guitar party of my life!

Peace. Out.